Laugh a Little

Yesterday, my wife and I were sitting at the dining room table talking when our daughter (who turned 2 in June) started throwing toys, one by one, out of her toy bins. “This is a game…” my wife reminds me, as I tell her to stop being destructive. She smiles and chucks another toy over her shoulder.

Terrible two’s they call it. We always follow these behaviors with “Oh, she’ll grow out of it” or “she cant be the only kid who acts that way” or “that’s normal/natural for a two year old” but what is normal? Who decides whats natural for a two year old? What is considered the norm in one house, can be considered odd or even acting out in another home. So that means each child would have their own version of normal, right?

And let me tell you, my little girl is not as innocent as she was 3 weeks ago. It’s like the terrible two’s just took a few months to catch up to us. All of a sudden she is learning how to express wants and needs with words (more so her wants with words…needs are mostly whining and grunts still). All day I hear “I wanna” this and “I don’t wanna” that. Oh, and the famous “I got it”… noooo, you don’t got it… your two!!

My nerves are frying! I’m about to dye my hair for the first time because suddenly my patch of grey hair has doubled in size and is now noticeable. I don’t take this lightly… getting older. Because it means my baby is getting older. Do other Mom’s feel this way? I know everyone talks about how fast time passes but it seems to pass faster when you become a parent.

I guess you have to see the humor in life. My cat seems to like what my daughter throws her toys… she chases every single one. I think I’ll choose to laugh at that next time and let my daughter learn a lesson on happiness instead of punishment. Maybe then, I can relax!

By JL Meicht – Posted from WordPress for Android

The Truth About Living With Borderline Personality Disorder

Meicht's Musings

“Hello, I am Jessica,  and I have and am living with Borderline Personality Disorder.” This is what people think they want to hear. But Im just me. Just another person trying to navigate through the craziness of everyday life. My disorder is not something to be ashamed of. It makes me me.

Borderline Personality Disorder or BPD is a disoder that causes my emotional baseline (when you are calm) to be higher than the average person, and it takes longer to get down to that baseline after hitting an emotional highpoint. Sometimes I have intense mood swings. I was impulsive as a young adult and have always had problems in my everyday relationships. My disorder affects 2 out of every 100 people and is so complex that it affects each person differently. Its causes are hard to place but it has been linked to chemical imbalances, trauma in early life, brain abnormalities…

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The Truth About Turning 30

I never knew why I dreaded turning 30 until yesterday when I was sitting in my clinician’s office and we were talking about my up-coming 29th birthday on Friday. I feel like since highschool my view on life and the people who surround me have changed. My view on myself and my ways have changed. I’ve lost pieces of myself along the way somehow. Sometimes I feel I have sold myself short… not reached my full potential. At the age of 30, I somehow feel I should be more established.

What do you do when you’ve only planned this far? I’ve accomplished all the goals I set as a teenager, yet I’m feeling I did not get the satisfaction I needed from them. I always said that my main goal should be my schooling then starting a family. I wanted to complete my education right out of highschool and I didn’t. I wanted to have a career before a family and I didn’t. I wanted to give birth personally but didn’t.  I wanted to be married before we had kids and I wasn’t. All these goals, not one went as planned. Here I am, nearly 30 and I have an associates degree I cannot do anything with, I’m renting an apartment while all my friends are buying houses, and I’m raising someone else’s child as my own. Life has a way of surprising us.

These are the pieces I’ve lost. The things I’ve given up. Choices I made that best fit my life at the time. Now I stand back and look at my handy work and think to myself “I feel like life is just something that happened to me.” And it is.

I’m content though…. my goals didn’t happen in the order I thought they would but they happened. I have a beautiful wife and daughter, a degree in something I love and a strong marriage. Who cares if I haven’t started my career? I’ve spent these past few years doing what I love! Helping raise my niece, working on my web design, and staying home with my ever growing 2 year old. I’ve even been working on my book. That’s more than some people have accomplished. I guess you can say I’ve seen the light because in this moment, I feel as though I am where im meant to be. Even if I am an inconsistent mess!

By JL Meicht – Posted from WordPress for Android

Consistently Inconsistent

Inconsistance is the name of my game. I am famous for starting new and ambitious projects/hobbies and not finishing/continuing them.

I have many started paintings that are just collecting dust. I’ll probably never finish them.

I have been making the same blanket for 5 years. I started it as a gift for my first-born niece but have never finished it.

I collect scrapbooking supplies and have boxes of photos and empty photo albums stored away… need I say more?

I have been writing a book for 6 years. I find it hard to find uninterupted time to write.

Many of the picture frames in my home are missing photos of my family. They still have the original images of model families in them. My Dad calls them my “other” family!

I started a Delphi Forum online almost 10 years ago. I have it organized to showcase all my talents but have not updated it in a long time.

I have a Twitter account in order to spread the word about this blog. I have never learned to use it.

Which brings me to this blog. I started it with the intention of connecting with people who think like me. I even started a Facebook page using my pen name to announce new blog posts and share my successes. (Which by the way, I do keep up with.) This blog became too much work when trying to promote my writing. So I have decided not to stress it. I’ve promised myself that I will make an effort to write at least once per week. If I write more… great! If not, I’ll try harder next week.

You can help by sharing what you like and liking my facebook page JL Meicht.

Thank you!
JL Meicht

By JL Meicht – Posted from WordPress for Android

Money Matters

~~I wrote this post months ago… forgot to post it. Just some food for thought!~~

I recently had a conversation about Social Services with an acquaintance. They felt that they had been wrongly denied Temporary Assistance and Foodstamps. They complained about how unfair it was, then went out and bought $100 pair of shoes that weekend. Im sorry, but if you have that much money to drop on clothes, I’d say you are doing pretty well for yourself.

I became disabled in 2004 and hired a lawyer right away. I knew nothing about finding one so I called a phone number on a commercial. My biggest mistake was just randomly picking someone to represent me. But needless to say, one income does not cut it in this world today so I went on Temporary Assistance and Foodstamps with a doctors note stating I could not work. Many years later, I am still out of work and going to counseling once a week, and I am finally off Temporary Assistance. Though we still recieve Foodstamps, my wife works 40 hours a week to support our family. Some families just can’t make it without the help. Then there are others who just abuse the system. It is ignorant to group all people who recieve assistance into one category. Not everyone on assistance is lazy and not working because they don’t want to work. There are many of us just trying to make ends meet.

So before you complain, “Oh, they won’t help me” Or “They aren’t giving me enough!”, look at what you have and be glad you dont qualify or don’t need much help. And if you don’t qualify for a valid reason (your living quarters are too expensive, you are trying to support people who you have no responsibility for, or you have money saved and just dont want to touch it), then its time for you to make a change, that is if your really are struggling to make ends meet. Stop buying the drugs/expensive clothes/needless junk that you can’t afford and buy those diapers/food/necessities you should afford. Then ask for help! Then maybe you’ll qualify for assistance. Until then stop complaining about the system and be happy that you don’t need it because everyone on it has to jump through hoops to keep themselves on it. Its not all that simple.. monthly reports, appointments, and phone interviews galore! No fun… I promise you!

By JL Meicht – Posted from WordPress for Android

Destructive Liars

Do you know a compulsive liar? Someone who lies, then lies some more to cover up the initial lie? How about someone who can’t keep their lies straight because they tell a different lie or version of the lie to each person or group of people around them? Living with a liar in your midst can be very frustrating and problematic.

I have always been a person who believes lying is always wrong. It wasn’t until later in my life that I realized that there are good lies and bad lies. Telling your kids certain lies can help spark their imagination or shield them from something they are not yet ready to hear. This kind of lie is ok in my book. Other lies can hurt your relationships, be it romantic,  work or social. Personally, I believe that a lie is only ok if the people around you will not be hurt. So lying about a surprise birthday party or birthday gift is acceptable.  It’s when there are hurt feelings caused by the lie or if the lie put someone in danger, that it becomes unacceptable.

When the liar in your life is someone you were once close with or still are close with, the situation can get sticky. You will need to approach them with not only the goal to get the truth but also to keep the relationship intact while not compromising your integrity in the process. But truthfully the best way to do it is to confront the person with the truth to their lie. Call them out on it. Not in front of other people as to embarrass them but to let them know, you know, they are a liar. This may stop them from lying to you again, but chances are, it won’t.

Most liars can’t help themselves I think. They start telling a lie and can’t stop. Pride keeps them from coming clean, and the lie becomes more elaborate each time they tell it. Soon the person is stuck in their web of lies. Only then will they realize what a problem it is…. and how destructive their lies are.

By JL Meicht – Posted from WordPress for Android