Archive | March 2014

When Enough is Enough

Do you know someone who posts everything going on in their life on social media? How about someone who is “in love” with a new person every week? Or better yet, those who claim to be “in love” with more than one person at once and posting ever meaningless (to us anyways) piece of information about their relationships for everyone to see? I know a few people like this and im sure you do too. How can we politely tell these people to shut up?

Now, on average, I update my personal facebook status 1-2 times a day. Sometimes with good news, other times with my accomplishments for the day. Some people update their status way too often. We do not care that you had a fight with your girlfriend/boyfriend. Its fine to get it off your chest if you MUST but for the sake of all your social media friends, please keep the drama off our feeds. There is a reason why there is an age limit to get a profile so stop acting like your in middle school. Stop calling people out in your statuses. It just makes you look immature and petty. Especially if you will continue the relationship/friendship.  You will end up looking like a hypocrite.

In the past I have caused drama with my then-girlfriend/now-wife on Facebook when we were going through something that should have been kept private. It hurt feelings and was permanently up on the internet. It was childish and made me realize that we all need to know when the information we give is too much. We need to learn when enough is enough!

By JL Meicht – Posted from WordPress for Android

When Your Child Acts Out in Public

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Why is it so much more aggravating when our kids throw tantrums in front of other people, be it family, friends, or strangers. I find it embaracing in public places like the grocery store or laundromat but more particularly, places where everyone is supposed to talk in hushed tones like the library, doctor’s office or hospital.

When disciplining our children in public places can be viewed as abuse and talking to them in even tones doesn’t get through to them, what are you supposed to do? I’d like to say that I would never hit my daughter because it teaches her to hit but there are times where I feel that it is called for.  It is when they are putting themselves in danger that I throw this rule out the door.  Power outlets, heaters, and chemicals under the sink are all big no-no’s in my house. And I find that saying no and slapping the offending body part does the job (I say body part because my daughter will use her foot to touch things I have already said she couldn’t). This helps clarify what is being done wrong.

So is it ok to dicipline in this manner in public? Just a stinging tap on the hand should be ok, as long as you don’t go overboard in my opinion. But if this doesnt work, I remove my daughter from the situation and let her throw her fit.  The way I see it, she should be allowed to show her anger and frustration as much as her happiness and love. They are all emotions and all healthy when balanced. My job is to teach her when and where to let emotions overcome her. By leaving the grocery store because she was crying and flailing in the cart, we show her that we do not permit those actions. By bringing yer to the car, we show her that this is a safe place to act out.

Some may say that allowing my daughter to act this way anywhere could be harmful in the long run. I say the time to teach is not when they are freaking out but when they are calm and receptive. I want to teach her constructive ways to deal with emotion and to do that, she must be open to learning at that moment.  It is not time to teach when they are hungry, wet or tired. They will not take the time to listen and understand what you are trying to teach them. What are your feelings on this subject?

By JL Meicht – Posted from WordPress for Android

10 Things Most People Don’t Know About Me

I have a few close friends and they know more about me than the rest of the world. Here are some things you should know about me, the author and poet, JL Meicht.

1. I grew up in a trailer park and didn’t mind it as a kid. It was great to have all kinds of children to play with, only a short walk away.

2. I have three siblings… two brothers and one sister. We are all about one year apart. This means that my Mom was essentially pregnant for four years.

3. I have been writing since age 5. I have a composition notebook full of my poems and other pieces that inspire me!

4. My first published poem came at age 13. It was in a collective book of many new poets that I could not afford at the time. I still have most of the paperwork from my poem being accepted.

5. I won my first money reward in highschool Creative Writing class for an article I wrote about being homosexual.

6. I struggle with Borderline Personality Disorder. I was diagnosed five years ago.

7. I have been writing a book for about three years though I haven’t had much time to work on it because of this new blog.

8. I did not give birth to my daughter. My wife did but I was right there with her. Kicker is, we didnt know she was pregnant until two hours before the baby was born.

9. My wife and I moved into our apartment a year ago and we just recently finished decorating the walls with picture frames and canvases with sayings on them. Now its time to put my own photos in those picture frames! We procrastinate!

10. We want to get our daughter a kitten. We plan to adopt a female soon. I grew up with pets so I want my daughter to grow up that way too!

By JL Meicht – Posted from WordPress for Android

31 Yahoo! Questions That Will Make You Give Up On People

I found these to be funny!

Thought Catalog

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1. You can’t get starburned!

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2. Yep, it is, we just don’t use hovercrafts anymore because planes are more fashionable.

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3. Have you tried Google Maps?

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4. What happens if you don’t?

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5. Oh honey…

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6. Only one way to find out!

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7. Truth in logic.

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8. There’s gotta be a way.

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9. Yes.

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10. Ummmm.

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11. “I’ve been cooking my blood into his food.”

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12. Aim carefully.

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13. Urgent.

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14. Better turn yourself in, buddy.

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15. “Does she think I made fun of her night vision?”

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16. WHY?

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17. I will sell you one.

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18. Now that you’ve eliminated “vampire” from the list of possible answers, I’m stumped.

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19. You know, the…

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Violence in My Dreams

Now, as many of you may not know, I have problems with sleep. I have trouble falling asleep without my medication and staying asleep because of violent and disturbing dreams.

Sometimes these dreams just don’t make sense (like I feel so heavy, can’t walk and keep falling down) and in others they play out a subconscious violent side of me. I’ve also had dreams where I knew I was dreaming. I’ve even tried to reach out vocally but couldn’t put words together.

Once in a while, I can’t remember my dreams until days later when I am introduced to something (smell, object, situation) that reminds me of the dream. Most of the time they take place in a setting I have dreamt about before (a certain building or around certain people). And a lot of the time I wake up feeling moody on the days where I remember the having the dream upon waking up.

In a way, the violent dreams remind me of the old me. A me that was very unhappy and wildly emotional.  Today I have more control over my reactions and actions, and I am able to feel emotions without being highly sensitive in many situations. But there are still many days where I struggle to stay on top of my emotions, and these days happen after nights when I do not take my medications.

The mood swings that come when I have these dreams are hard to manage. At the end of the day, I have my DBT skills to lean on. They make things easier to get through with my emotional wellbeing somewhat intact. In reality, my dreams allow me to act out feelings that I cannot show during the day. Maybe thats what dreams are for… to help us come to terms with the crazy events of our lives.

By JL Meicht – Posted from WordPress for Android

A Brief (and not totally irrelevant) Digression For a NY Story: Can A Mother Adopt Her Own Child?

These Moms are facing the problem I will one day face with my daughter! This is a good read!

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I’m in the midst of trying to develop a theory of parenthood that solves my “only one parent at birth” problem. (Check out yesterday’s post if this makes no sense to you.)  But I need to interrupt myself to talk about this story from today’s NYT.   It’s not totally off-point because it concerns the marital presumption of legal parenthood, which has been a topic of conversation in the comments recently.

So here are the basic facts of the NY case.  A lesbian couple (Amalia C and Melissa M) decided they wanted to have a child.   Melissa gave birth to a child.   Amalia sought to complete a second-parent adoption–a process that would make her the child’s second parent without disturbing Melissa’s rights.   This is a well-recognized process in NY.

But, according to the judge considering the adoption, there was a problem:  The two women had gotten married in 2011 and NY recognized this…

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Queer Women’s Sexuality is Not Up For Grabs

This is my first reblog… this blog post talks about true problems for gay women everywhere! Making out with another girl for any other reason than to share relations is becoming an epidemic! Stop using other women to get your attention!

Forward Woman

By WWN Intern Rachel Cohen

If you’re like me and you think that sleep is for people without internet access, you perhaps saw a tabloid-esque ‘news story’ about Miley Cyrus kissing Katy Perry at the former’s concert a week or so ago. While my interest in whom they both choose to kiss is relatively non-existent, this does remind me of an issue that is particularly bothersome to me. The phenomenon of straight girls ‘playing gay’ for attention is not something I will be fan-girling over. As an openly queer woman, I do not appreciate the use of my sexuality for a moment of attention. Though it may seem relatively harmless, behavior like this contributes to the incredibly prevalent fetishization of queer women.

To some it may seem as though the media is more accepting of queer women than of queer men, but I’d suggest that using female queerness as…

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