Archive | September 2014

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By JL Meicht – Posted from WordPress for Android

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Laugh a Little

Yesterday, my wife and I were sitting at the dining room table talking when our daughter (who turned 2 in June) started throwing toys, one by one, out of her toy bins. “This is a game…” my wife reminds me, as I tell her to stop being destructive. She smiles and chucks another toy over her shoulder.

Terrible two’s they call it. We always follow these behaviors with “Oh, she’ll grow out of it” or “she cant be the only kid who acts that way” or “that’s normal/natural for a two year old” but what is normal? Who decides whats natural for a two year old? What is considered the norm in one house, can be considered odd or even acting out in another home. So that means each child would have their own version of normal, right?

And let me tell you, my little girl is not as innocent as she was 3 weeks ago. It’s like the terrible two’s just took a few months to catch up to us. All of a sudden she is learning how to express wants and needs with words (more so her wants with words…needs are mostly whining and grunts still). All day I hear “I wanna” this and “I don’t wanna” that. Oh, and the famous “I got it”… noooo, you don’t got it… your two!!

My nerves are frying! I’m about to dye my hair for the first time because suddenly my patch of grey hair has doubled in size and is now noticeable. I don’t take this lightly… getting older. Because it means my baby is getting older. Do other Mom’s feel this way? I know everyone talks about how fast time passes but it seems to pass faster when you become a parent.

I guess you have to see the humor in life. My cat seems to like what my daughter throws her toys… she chases every single one. I think I’ll choose to laugh at that next time and let my daughter learn a lesson on happiness instead of punishment. Maybe then, I can relax!

By JL Meicht – Posted from WordPress for Android

The Truth About Living With Borderline Personality Disorder

Meicht's Musings

“Hello, I am Jessica,  and I have and am living with Borderline Personality Disorder.” This is what people think they want to hear. But Im just me. Just another person trying to navigate through the craziness of everyday life. My disorder is not something to be ashamed of. It makes me me.

Borderline Personality Disorder or BPD is a disoder that causes my emotional baseline (when you are calm) to be higher than the average person, and it takes longer to get down to that baseline after hitting an emotional highpoint. Sometimes I have intense mood swings. I was impulsive as a young adult and have always had problems in my everyday relationships. My disorder affects 2 out of every 100 people and is so complex that it affects each person differently. Its causes are hard to place but it has been linked to chemical imbalances, trauma in early life, brain abnormalities…

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The Truth About Turning 30

I never knew why I dreaded turning 30 until yesterday when I was sitting in my clinician’s office and we were talking about my up-coming 29th birthday on Friday. I feel like since highschool my view on life and the people who surround me have changed. My view on myself and my ways have changed. I’ve lost pieces of myself along the way somehow. Sometimes I feel I have sold myself short… not reached my full potential. At the age of 30, I somehow feel I should be more established.

What do you do when you’ve only planned this far? I’ve accomplished all the goals I set as a teenager, yet I’m feeling I did not get the satisfaction I needed from them. I always said that my main goal should be my schooling then starting a family. I wanted to complete my education right out of highschool and I didn’t. I wanted to have a career before a family and I didn’t. I wanted to give birth personally but didn’t.  I wanted to be married before we had kids and I wasn’t. All these goals, not one went as planned. Here I am, nearly 30 and I have an associates degree I cannot do anything with, I’m renting an apartment while all my friends are buying houses, and I’m raising someone else’s child as my own. Life has a way of surprising us.

These are the pieces I’ve lost. The things I’ve given up. Choices I made that best fit my life at the time. Now I stand back and look at my handy work and think to myself “I feel like life is just something that happened to me.” And it is.

I’m content though…. my goals didn’t happen in the order I thought they would but they happened. I have a beautiful wife and daughter, a degree in something I love and a strong marriage. Who cares if I haven’t started my career? I’ve spent these past few years doing what I love! Helping raise my niece, working on my web design, and staying home with my ever growing 2 year old. I’ve even been working on my book. That’s more than some people have accomplished. I guess you can say I’ve seen the light because in this moment, I feel as though I am where im meant to be. Even if I am an inconsistent mess!

By JL Meicht – Posted from WordPress for Android