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The Truth About Being in Love

They say you always believe your first love is your last and your last love in your first. I dont know who “they” are, but boy were they wise.

My first love was a boy. We did everything together. He had his license and a car. We went to the beach and camping on the weekends. Fishing was our sport. He was the cutest boy around. Problem was, when he started pulling away after two years, I willingly broke it off. No tears, no drama. I thought I knew what true love was, that is, until I met my wife, Crystal.

I guess you could say that the word love had been redefined. I can honestly say that I had never felt the way I do about her. Never in a lifetime would I have thought that 9 years later, the word would be redefined again, when our daughter Kaydence was born. Now, I am lucky enough to have two loves. My world is filled with so much love these days that I sometimes take it for granted. I am so comfortable with the life we live now that I take that for granted too.

Is this not the point though? To fall in love and start a family? To be happy?

Now, I get jealous sometimes and so does my wife. It a natural thing and even healthy for a relationship in small doses, I would say. It proves that the person is important to you and you are important to them.

We even argue. The trick is to try to talk things out before you go to bed and if you cant for whatever reason, then as soon as possible. Don’t let the resentment build. You would not know the good times from the bad times if you didnt experience both!

We have hurt eachother deeply but gotten through it.  It is the second part of this sentance that is most important. We may have fallen, but that is irrelevant,  we stood straight back up. Love can face the ugliest things and walk back out alive. It never gives up. And that is the truth!

By JL Meicht – Posted from WordPress for Android

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The Truth About Living With Borderline Personality Disorder

“Hello, I am Jessica,  and I have and am living with Borderline Personality Disorder.” This is what people think they want to hear. But Im just me. Just another person trying to navigate through the craziness of everyday life. My disorder is not something to be ashamed of. It makes me me.

Borderline Personality Disorder or BPD is a disoder that causes my emotional baseline (when you are calm) to be higher than the average person, and it takes longer to get down to that baseline after hitting an emotional highpoint. Sometimes I have intense mood swings. I was impulsive as a young adult and have always had problems in my everyday relationships. My disorder affects 2 out of every 100 people and is so complex that it affects each person differently. Its causes are hard to place but it has been linked to chemical imbalances, trauma in early life, brain abnormalities, or even growing up in an invalidating environment.  It could even be a mixture of all these things. I treat my BPD with Delectical Behavioral Therapy or DBT, One on One Therapy, and medication.  Every piece of my treatment is vital to my success at leading a “normal” life.  I use the term “normal” loosely because everyone’s normal is different.

In my weekly DBT group sessions, I am learning to handle everyday social situations effectivly and with grace.  I learn how to manage the intense emotions and mood swings associated with BPD as well as how to reach wise mind (an all knowing state of mind) when at a heightened emotional level.  Here are some of my favorite quotes that I think represent DBT well.

1. “Our greatest battles are that within our own minds.”  Jameson Frank.
– No one judges us as harshly as we judge ourselves. We should try to give ourselves a break when deserved or needed but be aware to not go to one extreme of always giving ourselves a “pass” or the other, working so hard we burn ourselves out.

2. “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget the way you made them feel.” Poet Maya Angelou
– Emotional high points are hard to forget.  Think about it… some smells make you feel a certain way, maybe a song, or a place.  they bring you back to that time. You remember how you felt in that moment.

3. “Life is what happens while you’re busy making plans.” John Lennon
– The best things happen unplanned.  If you spend too much time planning for the future (or remembering the past), you miss what is happening now.

These quotes each represent important lessons I have learned through DBT. I use these and other sayings every day to remind me of the skills I need to practice. Living with BPD just means I need to learn to channel my emotions and use them as tools in my every day life. I’m still me, just a better me when I follow my treatment plan!