Tag Archive | Borderline Personality Disorder

Consistently Inconsistent

Inconsistance is the name of my game. I am famous for starting new and ambitious projects/hobbies and not finishing/continuing them.

I have many started paintings that are just collecting dust. I’ll probably never finish them.

I have been making the same blanket for 5 years. I started it as a gift for my first-born niece but have never finished it.

I collect scrapbooking supplies and have boxes of photos and empty photo albums stored away… need I say more?

I have been writing a book for 6 years. I find it hard to find uninterupted time to write.

Many of the picture frames in my home are missing photos of my family. They still have the original images of model families in them. My Dad calls them my “other” family!

I started a Delphi Forum online almost 10 years ago. I have it organized to showcase all my talents but have not updated it in a long time.

I have a Twitter account in order to spread the word about this blog. I have never learned to use it.

Which brings me to this blog. I started it with the intention of connecting with people who think like me. I even started a Facebook page using my pen name to announce new blog posts and share my successes. (Which by the way, I do keep up with.) This blog became too much work when trying to promote my writing. So I have decided not to stress it. I’ve promised myself that I will make an effort to write at least once per week. If I write more… great! If not, I’ll try harder next week.

You can help by sharing what you like and liking my facebook page JL Meicht.

Thank you!
JL Meicht

By JL Meicht – Posted from WordPress for Android

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Violence in My Dreams

Now, as many of you may not know, I have problems with sleep. I have trouble falling asleep without my medication and staying asleep because of violent and disturbing dreams.

Sometimes these dreams just don’t make sense (like I feel so heavy, can’t walk and keep falling down) and in others they play out a subconscious violent side of me. I’ve also had dreams where I knew I was dreaming. I’ve even tried to reach out vocally but couldn’t put words together.

Once in a while, I can’t remember my dreams until days later when I am introduced to something (smell, object, situation) that reminds me of the dream. Most of the time they take place in a setting I have dreamt about before (a certain building or around certain people). And a lot of the time I wake up feeling moody on the days where I remember the having the dream upon waking up.

In a way, the violent dreams remind me of the old me. A me that was very unhappy and wildly emotional.  Today I have more control over my reactions and actions, and I am able to feel emotions without being highly sensitive in many situations. But there are still many days where I struggle to stay on top of my emotions, and these days happen after nights when I do not take my medications.

The mood swings that come when I have these dreams are hard to manage. At the end of the day, I have my DBT skills to lean on. They make things easier to get through with my emotional wellbeing somewhat intact. In reality, my dreams allow me to act out feelings that I cannot show during the day. Maybe thats what dreams are for… to help us come to terms with the crazy events of our lives.

By JL Meicht – Posted from WordPress for Android